Don't call her 'spicy' or 'feisty.' Unless she uses those words to describe herself, in which case she may not mind if you do either. An ex-boyfriend once asked me if he could call me his "little tamale." I know I like to eat, but (a) no, and (b) WRONG COUNTRY DUDE. The sooner she gets you cleared by mami, papi, and the rest of the crew, the sooner she'll know whether she wants to keep you around or not. If you ask her to be a 1 at a wedding or big family affair too early on, she'll think you're getting serious, so if you're not, don't do this. A date's not the time to bust out the few phrases you remember from Spanish 101. But that said, if her family asks if you want to speak in Spanish while you're together, go for it. And if she's important to you, making a little effort goes a long way: It IS OK to ask questions or share a general interest in her culture or background; it's NOT OK to fetishize her or ask her "why Latinas always do [insert thing]?
If she has relatives, for example, who speak very little English who want to speak to you in Spanish, and you know some, it's OK to try and bridge that gap. As in, if something happens to you that you don't want anyone to know about, keep that shit locked down deep inside, because if you tell her, everyone else will know by the end of the day too. But on the bright side: There's special occasions, so don't bank on it! " or attribute her behavior to just "being Latina." Follow Alanna on Twitter.
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